The other night, my good buddy Christian put on the movie Untraceable for us to “watch” as we each napped on our respective couches at 8 in evening in his apartment. Anyway, the bits and pieces of the movie that I was lucid for were absolutely terrible, but I did realize something very important: I need to learn Morse code immediately.
I’ve lived my entire life never knowing Morse code, and I’m pretty sure that most people in the general population don’t know it either. That being said, I can think of at least five different movies just off the top of my head where Morse code was used to help solve some inextricable problem.
These movies all take place in the relative present day, and all represent real-life situations that I might one day find myself in:
- Untraceable. After being captured by a demented murderer, Colin Hanks blinks his eyes in Morse code to hint at the identity of the one holding him captive.
- Eagle Eye. After being threatened by a demented computer, Shia LaBeouf flashes his cell phone in Morse code to hint at the identity of the one holding him captive.
- Independence Day. After aliens shut down worldwide communications, the US government uses Morse code to convey their ultimate plan to the rest of the world.
- Transformers. After aliens shut down federal communications, the US Secretary of Defense – and a nerd – use Morse code to convey their ultimate plan to the Air Force.
- Toy Story. Toys use Morse code to carry out a plan of revenge on a child.
People are freaking out about the breakout of swine flu across the world, and I know this because it’s trending on Twitter. The thing about swine flu is, it’s not just the flu, it’s also got the word “swine” in it, which I can only assume means that it will turn you into a pig.
How to avoid contracting swine flu
- Wash your hands frequently. Let’s face it, licking your fingers doesn’t always cut it. I know this is pretty difficult advice to take from a girl who showers rarely (if at all), but I wash my hands at least once, maybe even twice a week.
- Stay the hell out of Mexico. What happens in Cancun doesn’t stay in Cancun. Instead, it spreads throughout the rest of the world, killing people and sending everyone into a panic. Think 12 Monkeys, but this time, David Morse is not to blame… OR IS HE!??
- Wear a face mask. This will also help you hide your hideous, hideous face.
- Be weary of pigs. It is called “swine” flu, after all. If you’re around any pigs, make sure they cover their mouths when they sneeze. To be safe, I’d kill any pigs on sight, then cook their meat to kill the germs. Hmmm, bacon.
Filed under: Television | Tags: DollHouse, Joss Whedon, Watch Dollhouse Week
I probably should have written about this yesterday, but this is Watch Dollhouse Week, a week-long Dollhouse-watching event leading up to the season finale this Friday. The idea is that you re-watch the last five episodes in the series – one a day – so that you’ll be super fantastic pumped for the airing of the finale.
If you haven’t seen or heard of Dollhouse, let me enlighten you. Imagine super-sexy men and women who are programmed with skills and personalities to carry out top secret and badass assignments like hostage negotiation, or going on dates. Also, the series was created by nerd king Joss Whedon. I highly recommend you watch the whole series immediately.
Holidays are great. Sure, there’s the whole “family time” thingymadealy, but what’s really important is the good eats and fun traditions.
Take, for instance, St. Patrick’s Day. Yes, I’ll have some green cookies and green beer. And thank you for that pinch on the butt, you’ve just made my day. Or Halloween, where strangers give you candy for FREE, and all you have to do is bring children to their house late at night.
The holidays that keep on giving are the ones that I cherish most, like the Thanksgiving stuffing that lasts through December, or the Christmas lights that stay on our house for months. Hence the theme of this week’s snack, which is also the reason I have a tummy ache right now.
Alicia’s Snack of the Week: Leftover Easter candy
Last Friday on Victoria Island, a police officer found a man and a woman having sex inside a dumpster. The man was arrested because he was wanted by another police department, and the woman was simply sent home. Thank goodness too, because I was pretty tired at that point and those jail cells are no place to nap.
